Hilariously Infertile by Karen Jeffries

Author:Karen Jeffries
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2018-07-19T15:09:19+00:00

Chapter 10

Shots, Shots, Shots

That night, I was instructed to start the Follistim injections. I already had all of my materials delivered to me. I organized and set everything up on my kitchen counter. After I put my toddler to bed, I start prepping the injection. I watch the video again, pausing every few minutes as I progress through each step. I am still not certain I will be able to give myself an injection at all, but I am trying to be strong. I am pretending to myself that I can do this, even though, deep down, I do not know if I can.

Worst-case scenario I could run up the block to a girl who I met at a drunken block party, who I vaguely remember saying she was a nurse. That was it! That was my backup plan in case I could not inject myself – run to a relative stranger’s house and knock on their door. This was a completely new level of not normal.

I dial out the Follistim, pinch my stomach, and inject. I DID IT! I actually did it. I did not cry or pass out. I CAN DO THIS!! I start self-aggrandizing.

“I’m basically a nurse practitioner.” I tell my husband.

He gives me an, I’m not buying it, look.

It was much like the look he gave me after I snuck into my kid’s room to change the smoke detector battery, in the middle of the night, without waking her, and afterward I told everyone that I was essentially bomb technician that Jeremy Renner plays in The Hurt Locker.

Ok, I did one shot, big deal, but I was proud of myself.

Two days later, I go to the clinic again. This time, I leave my house at five-forty in the morning. No way was an accident on the Deegan going to make me late this time. And of course, because God has a messed up sense of humor, I am forty-five minutes early. I sit on the cold floor, in the elevator vestibule, waiting for the clinic to open.

Once you are an IVF patient you have reached the baller MVP world of the fertility clinic. In The Blood Room, you are practically a celebrity. All the nurses know your name.

Yes, like Cheers.

They all say, “hi,” and ask you how you are doing. They also give you that sad half-smile, like they would for someone who just found out they only have weeks left to live.

I’m not dying people; I’m just trying to get pregnant.

They are very well-intentioned, I remind myself after each sorrowful death smile.

I get wanded, make my awkward small talk with the doctor, and head to school. I get “The Call” during the day. They are going to increase my Follistim dosage. I write down the directions, as I was told to do.

You should do that too; always write down your directions when the clinic calls you. You think that you’re going to remember it, but when they call you at one o’clock in the afternoon

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.